How to Set Boundaries Without Guilt (Even if You’re the “Strong One”)

If you’re used to being the one everyone leans on, setting boundaries can feel…wrong. But healthy boundaries aren’t a betrayal—they’re an act of love. And the people who truly care about you will adjust if they know how to support you.

Here’s how to start:

• Notice the body signals when a “yes” feels forced. This can be subtle like a uneasy feeling or the thoughts you have about how this person will react if you say no. Weighing a situation and having a list of things you have to do is normal BUT this is about when the "yes" isn't just obligation, it's fuel by guilt or shame. It may help to write down that to-do list (finally!) and note which things deserve a "no" and why. Remember: Saying no creates room for your real yeses

• Use soft language that honors your needs: “I wish I could, but I can’t right now.” Boundaries are hard especially if you have experienced moments where you needed to feel seen and supported but didn't get that. The empathy you hold here is a great thing but it might need boundaries if caring for others means harm to yourself. 

• Explain only with what you're comfortable with, if you do at all. Explaining can sometimes feel necessary but telling someone how you might really be feeling can be tough. Balance need-to-knows with asking yourself if this person is safe enough to explain what you are feeling AND what you may want them to do with this information. (ex. I can't go tonight, I've been super stressed lately and need a night in. Can I reach out to you by tomorrow to reschedule something?) 

💭 Reflection Prompt:
What’s one boundary your body has been asking for that your mind keeps overriding?

Need help honoring your energy? Our Somatic Integration Bundle includes a Boundary Activation Practice you can revisit anytime you feel stretched too thin.